Thursday, December 31, 2009

Nude Swim Teams Get Wet

[Via http://simplymalestrength.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Hottywood’s New Year’s Resolutions

Well kats and kittens, we are vastly approaching the end of 2009.  Once again we get to say goodbye to people who have no relevance in our lives, late payment checks, financial problems of yesteryear and resolutions that never made way in the wake of our current time.  Here is your chance to set the standard for 2010.  What are you gonna do to make this year better than the last? 

Below are Hottywood’s New Year’s Resolutions.  My advice to you is that you come up with your own.  “Be careful kids, these resolutions are for the expertly trained only.  Don’t try this at home.”  

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I will no longer steal and hide all of the toilet paper from the attendees at any private or public function I attend.  This includes restaurants, movie theaters and church.  No matter how funny it may be at the expense of others’ humiliation and discomfort, I will, for 165 days, refrain from this vindictive and comedic way (unless I just don’t like the victim, then it’s fair game).  

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As tempting as the laugh may be, I will no longer add tobasco sauce to all the bottles of ketchup at the next picnic, cookout, fast food restaurant, or Granny’s Sunday dinner party.  If I haven’t mentioned where I won’t tamper with the condiments, then chances are those party goers are screwed.   

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No matter what my facial expression may say, I promise to give any stupid person approximately 15 seconds to realize just how they stupid they are for themselves before I actually verbalize it and make them look and feel more dense than they are.  

Afterall, it is said that “Hottywood Helps.”

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I promise I will spend more time teaching my dog not to be such a bitch! 

Mailmen who show up to my door step w/ out my checks, encyclopedia book salesmen, mother-in-laws, and neighbors who borrow everything but the kitchen sink…BEWARE! 

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I will not be one of those people who refuse to speak my mind.  If you’re ugly, I’m going to tell you.  If you stink, I’m going to tell you.  If you deserve to be trampled by a herd of angry cattle, I’m going to tell you and then arrange it. 

And if you’re talking too much, I will respectfully tell your ass to the shut the f*ck up.  What are friends for? 

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I’m going to declare a national “No Pants” day just to see how quickly the fad catches on.  I’m sure there will be a lot of buzz on the holiday circuit.  There’s no doubt on that one day, there will be an influx of salary pay raises, office promotions, romance and baby conception. 

You all can thank me for this later.  

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I will try my best to remember that you only get one chance to make a first impression.  Unless you are a drunk, a skeez, a pusher, lawyer or a politician, then you’re not for me.  Besides, nothing says “Be who you are” like a good bottle of rum.  And if you pass out of the drivers seat while we’re speeding down the boulevard, then you’re a definite winner in my book!  

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Adventure is the name of the game!  I will make it a point to be more advantageous in the new year.  I just have to remember not to confuse adventure and spontaneity with stupidity. 

Note to self: think of the adventure BEFORE you get completely wasted.  Or else, you become completely wasted.  

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I’ll try not to beat up random people on the street for wearing white after Labor Day.  I don’t care if that fashion rule has changed over the years, I’m old skool.  So sue me. 

Wait…don’t sue me.  I wouldn’t want you to have that assault charge looming over my head.  

That’d be just another reason for an ass whooping. 

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Last but not least, I won’t tell anyone that I’m not so handy with a pair of clippers!  I have many skills, but I barbering isn’t one of them.  However, I can do anything I set my mind to, if I have enough heads to practice on and screw up.  Any volunteers???

If that doesn’t work, I can always shave the neighbor’s cat.  He’s been declawed.  “…here kitty kitty kitty…”

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Quote of the week:    “Don’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.”

[Via http://hottywoodhelps.com]

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Day 43 (12/18/09): The Red Dress

Photo by Tomasz Wieja

As long as I’ve lived in this city, I’d always wanted to go to PDT.  It’s kitschy, but it was on the long NYC checklist. My friend Kelly was well aware of this, and invited me to tag along with a group of girls she knew going. Immediately, I couldn’t refuse because the odds were stacked in my favor as one of three guys in a group of six girls.  In going to such a place, I was appalled that not a single one of these ladies had a red dress. I busted out the vest for the occasion, and they brought nothing to the table. Well, I wouldn’t say nothing, their reservation was the only reason I got in.

I ignored the girls I came with because the red dress was my white whale of the night. It didn’t take long before I zeroed in on Sydney. I Immediately compliment her on her dress, and she kind of brushed me off. I continued, “No seriously, this isn’t just a horrible pick up line. I genuinely appreciate the fact that you put on the red dress to come here.” She looked at me for a moment. Up and down, weighing whether or not she was going to mildly indulge me. I offered to buy her a drink to help improve my odds. Fifteen minutes later we were in the back booth with our Martinis.

I have to say it was one of the most interesting experiences I’ve ever had. We spent a solid hour talking, and yet, not revealing any sort of personal information about her. I noticed this about five minutes into the conversation, and tried to keep it up for as long as possible. She wouldn’t ask me personal questions, I wouldn’t ask her any. I didn’t get her last name,  I have no idea what she does for a living, no idea where she lives…etc. I know she takes her Martinis dirty. I know that even when she can’t walk straight or form a completely coherent thought, she can carry that glass without spilling a drop.  And I know that when she gets close enough to kiss you goodbye on the cheek she smells like cinnamon.

[Via http://100girls100days.com]

Angel Cassidy wings and all

[Via http://sexicelebs.wordpress.com]

Saturday, December 19, 2009

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very, very good,

But when she was bad, she was horrid.

That’s been my experience. Except for me the nursery rhyme applies to all women. But forget that. This post is about Girls with Curls. More specifically, its about photographs of girls who happen to have curls. Yes, yet another pretext to do a Flickr gallery of photos of sexy women,

I give you the thirtieth the Magic of Women gallery:

GIRLS WITH CUR Anyone may see the galleries, but to see the explicit photos on Visions you must belong to Flicker with safe search OFF.

A few shots too hot for the gallery: spit, spiral, frizzy, Shirley Temple

[Via http://cliffmichaels.wordpress.com]

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Adriana Lima Topless for Esquire Magazine

Sexy Esquire Magazine Picture

Adriana Lima and other Victoria’s Secret models Karolina Kurkova, Izabel Goulart, and Selita Ebanks looking smoking hot in the February issue of Esquire Magazine. These beautiful women go topless and take some sexy black and white photos for the 75th anniversary of Esquire. What better way to celebrate than with the hottest Victoria’s Secret models?

[Via http://sexicelebs.wordpress.com]

'Nightmares' About Voyeur Says Erin Andrews

Once and for all facing the peeping Tom who videotaped her in the nude and then posted the videos online, ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrews testified that her ordeal still haunts her.

“I have nightmares,” she told the Los Angeles court Tuesday, according to the New York Daily News. “I walk in crowds and I see him in my peripheral vision. When I’m alone in my house, I have fears that he’s going to walk inside and hurt me. I don’t know him. I’ve never met him. I don’t know why he chose me. But I hope he never sees the light of day again.”

Illinois insurance manager Michael David Barrett, 48, who was caught in October on charges of interstate stalking, came clean in court that he followed the 31-year-old sideline reporter to hotels in three different cities in 2008, installed tiny video cameras in her hotel-room peepholes, and posted the videos he made online.

Barrett avoided looking Andrews in the eye, the newspaper noted.

Under the plea agreement he’s made, he’s probably looking at two years in prison in return for his guilty plea. But Andrews argued for the full five he could potentially be slapped with at his Feb. 22 sentencing, saying that the incident has left her life in tatters – and herself subject to awful comments from sports fans.

Andrews has described the situation as nightmarish before, in her one-time interview with Oprah Winfrey. Worst of all has been the lingering fascination with the story, and the implication some made that she was somehow a party to the crime, she said.

“I just felt like I was continuing to be victimized,” she said in the TV interview. “I did nothing wrong.”

View The “Erin Andrews Peephole Video Tape” Here

[Via http://erinandrewshasnightmaresaboutvoyeur.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

O M G!!! Alaura Eden!

Alaura Eden born June 13, 1977 in San Francisco, California is an American former pornographic actress. She first appeared in adult films in 2002 at the age of around 25.

She is an Asian/Caucasian Mix, 121 lbs, and 5ft 6in.

She’s you lady in the street and freak in the sheets!

Here He! Here He! May I have your ATTENTION…SHE IS ON FACEBOOk!

Thank me later… peace

[Via http://sexicelebs.wordpress.com]

Mommy! How could you?! Aki Tomosaki

Aki Tomosaki born September 16, 1969 is a Japanese actress who has made a name for herself in the growing “mature woman” genre of the Japanese AV industry. The Japanese AV industry has awarded her for her work in this genre.

She is 40 Years Old! She’s made 250 videos, 148 DVDs are on Amazon.

She Is an H-Cup and Blood Type B.

I want to be a farmer and milk those puppies!!!

[Via http://sexicelebs.wordpress.com]